Octagon

Octagon is so cool. I'm not even kidding.
"What is this feeling of love that makes my heart ache so much now that it's come to an end? The end of this love that I've only begun to realize was inside me all this time."
Yeah. That's how I feel. So today was the Octagon Club banquet. It was so much fun. When I first got there with Diana, I waited for her to show up before going in, I was confused what was happening. The Octagon officers were passing out pins, papers, and tickets. Since Octagon is a division, or something, under the Optimist Club, our little game for the banquet was that if you say "no" (which is not optimistic!) then your pin gets taken away by the person who points it out first. The people who got the most pins won a prize at the end. I got tricked into saying "no" several times, and I managed to get my pin back, only to accidentally say "no" again, then get it taken away. It was hard to not say "no" but it was all good fun there with Diana and Hee Soo, my two Octagon buddies.
I totally went crazy from drinking soda. I normally don't drink soda, since I personally don't like it, but there wasn't anything else, so I took one. But when I do drink soda, I go on super hyper mode. Not even joking there. Every time I laughed, my face turned all red and I'd just keep laughing like I was hysterical.
Anyhow, the officers were giving out certificates to people who had a lot of hours in the club, HeeSoo got one, but Diana and I didn't. I really regret not participating in the club now. It's kind of late since there's not going to be any more activities except for tomorrow, which I'm going to! Next year, though, I'll try to go to all the events and dedicate more time into my club.
So there was also a raffle, and I won! I never win stuff! I actually won this other thing, too, but the officers were like, "That's just to make you feel good for winning something." Yeah, that was weird, but I was happy I won anything, period.
I really regret not getting more involved in the Octagon events. I honestly do. Isn't it sad that I only realized today, on the last meeting, that I really love Octagon? It's the only place that I really felt like I belonged. With my friends, yes, it's fun, we know each other really well, but sometimes, I feel like I'm not even there, and I feel like sometimes they aren't fully conscious I'm there either. It's probably out individual attention is spent on someone else, so I'm bound to not be focused on once in a while, and I understand. My undying love for my friends will never change because of my selfish need for their attention. Perhaps I do the same thing to them without even realizing. But, continuing on, the other clubs I'm in, we hardly do anything, we never get to bond, we never get together, and we never have fun together. Even though most of the people in Octagon don't know me very much, if at all, and they don't talk to me, but there's this feeling I felt today. It was as though I was part of something, something I don't even feel like when I'm with my family. It was like an aching pain of love in my heart. I'm not even sure how to explain this sensation I feel in my chest.
Today was a really good day. Maybe my best in a long time. I had lots of fun. Besides Octagon, in Biology, this girl I sit next to named Kara, I used to sit next to her in Science last year, in the 8th grade. She and I, along with two others, Athalia and Alec, sat at a table and would always be laughing over something together. Well, anyhow, Kara finally brought me the picture we took together on the last day of school. Those were really good times.
This song almost makes me want to cry. It's "Swing, Swing" by All American Rejects. Elliot, one of the Octagon officers played this song on his guitar and sang to it today. I'm sad that all these happy feelings will just be a memory in my heart, just like many I carry along with me. I wonder how many people of Octagon will remember and cherish this day as much as I, or if Kara will think back to the 8th grade even after we've grown old, to just say, "I remember that class, it was so much fun. Jenny was Freefall, Athalia was Apple Crack, and Alec was Dorkstar."
Ah, now I am crying.