Angel-Tear Moments

It's pretty late, 12:47AM. I was too busy goofing around on Facebook to blog about this earlier, but I'll just do it now. Well, today was my friend, Tanya's, graduation from Whitney high school. She was a valedictorian and everything. She's just like my sister, isn't it a shame that I can't follow in their footsteps? Oh well, self-satisfaction is more important? Yeah, I'm not very pleased with myself, so that kind of failed already. Anyhow, as I was saying, her graduation. I hold a bit of a grudge towards Whitney students because they're so exclusive with their students, I really don't like some of the people my age there because they just used me for their purposes in elementary school, and most importantly because my parents always wanted me to go there. They wanted me to be this smart, overachieving child like my sister. Big laugh right there. Well, today, as I listened to the valedictorian speeches, I felt touched by their words and almost cried. It's pretty embarrassing with my sister on one side and my piano teacher on my other. Since my old piano teacher teaches Tanya, too, so she was invited along to the ceremony. My piano teacher's really cool, she's really involved with her student's lives, but not in a nosy way. She's like a second mother to us. Unfortunately, I had to disappoint her as well by never practicing the piano, always messing up during the recitals and crying in front of the judge like an utter fool, then I just quit. Man, I'm really chewing myself out today. Anyhow, as I attempt to get back on track, the speeches were wonderful. I wish I was able to quote their words about happy endings and new beginnings, able to quote their words with the same amount of spirit as they had at the podium. One said how when people think of Whitney, they think of nerds, but that particular valedictorian loved basketball. However, due to an unfortunate event, he was put in the hospital. "I awoke with not only my family around me, but my friends and my basketball team. Even though I was told I probably wouldn't be able to play basketball this year, with my friends' and team's encouraging words, I didn't lose hope." He talked about the bonds of the family-like sport teams and that even though, to his great dispair, he was unable to play his in his final basketball season of high school, he was able to gain something greater. He was able to become greater friends with his teammates, ones that would last a life time. His speech, even though I loved Tanya's, was the best in my opinion, and sticked in my mind. Well, before the valedictorians, an English teacher had a speech of his own for the graduation address. It was just as grand. His words were funny and touching at the same time, filled with emotion for the students he watches walk away every year. Some come back. Some don't. I wondered about my graduations. We'd all be walking away on different paths. Who knows when or if we'll be able to meet again, my friends and I. But the English teacher, staying true to the subject he teaches, wrote a poem to his students called "The Garden". I wish very much that I was able to absorb every word he said. This isn't even a close imitation of his words, but it's like a blend of what I thought he said and what I thought he meant: "All of you started as seeds that teachers have watered everyday, and look at you grow into trees. I still think of the moments when we were together in class, laughing together, although most of the times you were all laughing at me. But I'll really cherish the times we talked outside of class and were able to get to know each other. And although I may never see you again, I'll look up towards the sun and look for your leaves." Maybe my dad recorded his speech. If that's the case, I'll try to post it up on here, or at least type out his words.
I hope, and yet, I'm sure, I'll meet my friends again, after we've seperated ways. Even if we don't, I'll still remember them vividly in my memories. If not my memories, my heart. I'll look up at the sky every now and then, just to think of them, even for a moment, and wondering if they're thinking of me. Whether we're close friends or distant, I'll remember them and hold tight onto the precious times we've had together. Even the people I said that I hated, the ones who go to Whitney. I still remember them, all the times we've had together in elementray school at recess. Even though I felt like I flipped through friends like the wind to an open blank book. One or two new friends a year, just people I'd hang out with during recess. If not a new friend, there was Michelle, the one person I felt that really understood me behind my violent exterior and liked me because I was me. Not for my food nor for my pens or pencils. She wanted to hang out with me because I was Jenny, as I wanted to be around her because she was Michelle. Even if it's Michelle, my best friend, I wonder if she'll remember me in ten, twenty, thirty years. We'll go to different places, meet new people, make new friends, maybe find someone we'll love for the rest of our lives. However, I'm confident that I won't forget. And hope they'll remember me once in a while, too, my friends, my classmates, everyone. I don't count on it, but I hope and, although I do not believe in God, I pray.