Warmth

Mood: happy; neutral; thoughtful
Currently: still pretty much doing nothing but talking on AIM
Listening to: Tabi no Tochuu --Kiyoura Natsumi

Random, but not random thought (but actually it is random . . .), you know what I missed about childhood the most? No, it's not the stress-less days, with small bits of homework and easy tests, somehow it isn't anyways. And no, it's not recess, those few minutes of playing and being carefree. I don't miss the days where I would use my blanket to make a tent to hide under with my sister, and then share the cookies I stole from the pantry. I don't miss those times where I cut the cardboard boxes so that they looked like a castle. And I don't mourn for the days where I'd pretend the apple decorations hanging on the Christmas tree were real and collect them from the branches, then hide them on the limbs again to find later. Actually, what I truly miss about childhood are those feelings of being under someone's wing. At night, my mother would always tuck me into bed, kiss me on the forehead and tell me to have sweet dreams. And when I had a bad dream, I would selfishly wake up my father, and he would lie next to me in bed, stroking my hair until I fell asleep. Warmth, comfort, security, sometimes I feel like they've washed away slowly, and I would wake up for the blood-streaked dream with tears in my eyes. Then I would silently, half-heartedly comfort myself, and drift off into another violent dream again. Lately I've had some more pleasant dreams of school, with my friends abound. I'd think of laughter and smiles, and one particular kind hug. But I'd always wake up in the night, with the image gone from my head. I then would proceed to hug my stuffed animal, and with its cold surface pressing aganist my skin, I'd wish it were warm.