"The Devil Inside, I See Your Eyes Are Changing . . ."

Mood: happy; confused; stressed
Currently: trying to work on my English essay but failing
Listening to: Poison Kiss --The Last Goodnight

"green to white. There's nowhere to hide, inside I feel the same. I feel the same way, too." Poison Kiss --The Last Goodnight
Anyhow. I seriously confuse myself sometimes. I feel like I have a point that I want to say, which totally makes sense in my head. But once I try to reason with it or start talking about it, I'm just like, that totally makes no sense at all . . . Like, for dinner, there was this soysauce filled dish or something. Anyhow, I was looking at it from a certain angle that the glint of the light made the brown liquid look white. Strangely enough, I started to think how if I tried to paint that, it would be really confusing if I painted it all white on the surface. Then for some reason, I thought that was a understandable. I thought about it more, wondering if I should bring it up in a conversation. Then I was like, wait what? Because it is white from my perspective. Why would it be weird to paint it that way? I tried to explain it to myself, then I started wondering why I was even thinking about painting in the first place. Eventually I told myself that I would make a good abstract painter, which only proved to confuse myself even more. I swear, I wish there was an off button for my mind. It thinks about the strangest things and I'm seriously worried if it's something that I subconciously want to do or if that's what I honestly believe in. I'm scared to find out.