Life's Not a Black Hole

Mood: happy; moody
Currently: remembering why I've used to hate going to sleep
Listening to: Supermassive Black Hole --Muse

Anything in life can be considered a "waste of time" or "stupid".
"Playing that game is a waste of time, it's so stupid." Since when did playing a game have some sort of special and significant meaning behind it? Heck, what is "significant" and what's not a "waste of time" anyways? Reading a book? Why is it so special? Because it makes us "smarter"? Is it a more productive way of using our time because we think more while processing words and attempting to find a deeper meaning behind them? What's the point in being "smart"? We have more knowledge, have better debate support, sharper comebacks, snottier remarks, and know what to do in certain situations? Depressing thought or perhaps not, sometimes I don't know what's so special about living. I breath and see. I can taste things, I can feel things physically and mentally. Life is a miracle I don't know why bothers happening sometimes. I'm not depressed, nor do I feel like my life is meaningless, I honestly don't understand why.
And my questions are ones that can't be explained through facts, perhaps, but the cliche "What's the meaning of life?" question rolls in here. To get a good education and find a nice job? What's the point of learning? To live a better future? And what's that to accomplish? Raise a family and create a new generation to wander about life? Is it to be safer? Accidents happen all the time, and the people who don't learn will cause those accidents, and no matter how safe we proceed, things we don't see will hit us. To not hurt others? Physically or mentally, we'll always continue hurting others. A special moment we have, it may end up hurting others. A careless remark one makes can drive another into winding depression. Our human nature will always make us hurt each other and we can't avoid it. We can only hope we can realize we wronged another and apologize for our actions.
Honestly, thinking just makes my head spin, and sadly enough, I shouldn't even be talking about any of this. What do I know? I'm on the crossroad in which the train is going to hit 16. I'm too young to talk about topics as broad as human nature and life since, in reality, I don't know anything at all. I suppose arrogance should have a limit.

"'A nosebleed is the perspiration of the heart!' [Toradora episode 3] . . . 'Crying is a nosebleed from the heart.' . . . 'But I've realized something. If you trip while running down a hallway, you'll get a nosebleed. If you trip in life, you cry.'
'Are you stupid? It's still too early for us to be talking about life. From now on, for 10 years, for 20 years, for 60 years, life will go on.' [Toradora episode 24]"


Hanging by a Moment. Darkness Eyes. Aozora no Namida. Numb. Suffocate.