Mind in the Trash Can, Writing in the Air

Mood: happy; mixed
Currently: stabbing my homework
Listening to: I Hate Everything About You --Three Days Grace

I went to this author (Lisa See) book signing event for my sister, since she couldn't do it herself, being at school and all. Anyhow, it just made me feel more anxious about my future though. "1000 words a day, about four pages." I can't even get myself to write more or even edit what I have now. Should I not worry just because I'm young? It could take forever to get it down though. Lisa See may write novels based on true historical events, but five years of researching and writing . . . I don't know. Every time I'm in the presence of a good writer, may he/she be famous around the world or around school, I feel baffled. Makes me think: There are so many more dedicated writers, more people who are more passionate about what they're saying, and there are more people who are just simply better writers. Take my sister for example, I don't recall the exact details anymore, but she had a high ranking paper for the SATs, was it? Her high school teachers always approved of her skillful writing abilities. She was the editor of her college's undergraduate magazine and currently the editor her her grad-school's magazine. I can't edit for s---. I'm lacking in both grammar and spelling. My writing shows it well, only the spell check saves me a little, but not even Microsoft can correct all of my grammatical errors. I'm not an avid reader, as my mother loves to indirectly remind me. "Your sister sure can buy books." Then my mother would turn to me and give me an accusing look. Ah, yes, she does. My range of literature is strictly within what we read in English class, and I don't even read the book half the time. I don't know what I'll do with myself. Maybe toss myself into a trash can and then figure out the rest from there . . .