The Spirit of Alice Lives Forever

Mood: happy; sad-ish
Currently: still hyper
Listening to: Heartbeat --2PM [ x ] (Hee Soo. I still. love the dance. YOU CAN'T STOP THE BEAT. [Hairspray] Appropriate for this song and moment, no?)

Don't you guys hate leaving a really festive place and life seems so quiet and lonely? That's why I don't ever have a birthday party anymore. I mean, yeah, I want to have fun with my friends on the day I was born, but then when everyone is gone, I feel so depressed, replaying every moment of the party in my head over and over. Even though my ears hurt every time someone screamed, but it was still lively and stuff, you know? I'd rather hang out with my crazy friends, slowly growing deaf then live in my boring house. I can never share my excitement with anyone in this house, I swear. My parents are way too into their Korean dramas (with Chinese subtitles). My sister is almost never home, and even if she was, half the time, she's staring at her computer screen as I am now. Even if I try to talk to them, they usually get annoyed at me for bothering them. My room would be so quiet if I wasn't playing music. Music. It saves my life. Seriously.
On a happier note, today was so crazy. First thing first, Yasmin's birthday party. It was Alice in Wonderland themed where Alice gets murdered and we have to find the murderer. So anyhow, my parents were driving me and Michelle to Yasmin's house, and I swear, worst traffic jam I have been in for the first time in like, a year (going to school for 0 period, the road is like practically reserved for you, the only thing I'll miss about 0 period). So we were stuck there for about 10-25 minutes? It was all because the city spends too much money on road paving! Geez, they should use that money for better things. Anyhow, then we got onto the freeway, and there was traffic there too! And I was like, dude, we're 30 minutes late! Then Michelle and I were all commenting how Hee Soo, the white rabbit, was probably already there when she's supposed to be the rabbit who's like, "I'm late!" and all. Then we all looked at Michelle's gift, cheesecake that she made, and the M&M's were like bleeding. Seriously. The cream on top was probably melting a little, so the colors were all dripping and mixing together. Ahaha.
So once we finally got to Yasmin's house, we saw this jumper, and as expected, Hee Soo was already there. Then we had to go through the jumper, the "rabbit hole" (I thought that was so cute/clever, ahaha), and I was all failing because my shoes were on and everything, so I got kind of stuck after climbing this wall and before sliding down. I was all like pretending to be exhausted and stuff, so the people who already got to the party was like, "You can do it, Jenny!" I eventually got down, but I was all being dramatic, saying how that was the most dangerous thing in my life. Ahaha.
When I got off the jumper, everyone was kind of gathered around this table with a chessboard on it, and the pieces were like five times bigger than normal ones. It was so cool, I wanted to buy it off Yasmin, but I don't think she'll sell it to me. Oh well. Anyhow, so we waited for more people to come, then we finally got things rolling.
For lunch, or whatever it was, we had pizza and sushi! Strange combination, but it was good. Heh, Yasmin was eating her pizza with chopsticks, I thought that was pretty funny. Anyhow, Yasmin passed out paper stating our opinion of Alice and our alibi, telling us if we were guilty or not. At the table, there was:
Yasmin: Alice, of course.
Me: Queen of Hearts, now prostrate at my feet in fear.
Athalia: Cheshire Cat, with her cute tail.
Cathy (Yasmin's cousin): White Pawn, dude, she had that one thing around her neck, what are those called?! I want one, just for the heck of it. Ahaha.
Diana: Dormouse, her ears were so cute. They were bunny ears, but she folded them so that they were short enough to be a mouse's.
Hee Soo: White Rabbit, she stole Yasmin's hat with rabbit ears, which looked so cool.
Michelle: Ace of Hearts, my right-hand soldier! Though she sat at my left. Ahaha.
Revathi: Duchess, she stole Yasmin's skirt that Yasmin wore on Halloween as the White Rabbit.
Shruthi: March Hare, she was later than all of us!
Victor: Caterpillar, he wore all blue. Heh.
Felix: Mad Hatter, he came at the very end of the party, though!
So we all had to read the paper as to what we thought about Alice and our alibi to figure who murdered Alice. My alibi was that I was at the trial who the Stolen Tarts, my stolen tarts. Whoever stole them, it'll be OFF WITH HIS/HER HEAD! Ahaha. I loved using that line today.
When everyone read their stuff, we mainly accused the Duchess, the White Rabbit, and me. Then when Shruthi finally showed up, we started to accuse the White Rabbit and the March Hare. When we finally voted on who we thought was the murderer, it was a tie between the two rabbits. In the end, Athalia called Felix for what he voted for. In the end, Hee Soo, the White Rabbit, was accused, and executed apparently, even though she fought to defend herself until the very end. She even called Felix again to try and persuade him that she was innocent. Ahaha. Then we all announced what we did in the end (Athalia read Victor's because he had to leave early). In reality, it was March Hare, Shruthi, who murdered Alice! Dun dun duuuuun. Then Hee Soo was like, "See, I told you guys! You guys got me killed!"
Afterward we had a race on the jumper. Everyone did pretty good, but in the end, Yasmin conquered us all, getting a time of about 17 seconds or something. That was pro skills right there, and she was wearing a dress, too. I bet she practiced all day. Ahaha. I got a time of like, 23 seconds. Dude, when I tried to get through the entrance, I got like, stuck, so I tripped. Then I jumped over this hurdle thing and ran into the wall. Then I tried to climb up the wall, but I went way too slow, I slide down, crashed into the end wall, then yeah. It was crazy fun though, even though I kept failing.
We mingled on the slide for a bit, pushing each other off the slide, and crashing into each other. It was pretty dangerous, really, but still fun. We had so many, "I saw my life flashing before my eyes" moments.
Next we played I Have Never, and I think I tied with Cathy, Hee Soo, and Yasmin. I'm not too sure because everyone ran off randomly. Then I stole the Nerf Sword Diana was clinging onto all day, but eventually it got into Shruthi's hands, and she gave me this sort of funny glare/smile, so I was like, "OH MY GOSH, SHE HAS THE EYES OF A MURDERER." Ahahaha. Get it? You know, the March Hare (AKA Shruthi) was Alice's murderer. Ahaha. Yeah, okay, but it was funny during the moment!
We played on the slide more, then I asked Leo (Yasmin's brother) for the other Nerf Sword so Michelle and I could duel. I swear. Most intense thing you'll ever see. We were all like slapping the swords together to produce this loud kind of clap, and oh my goodness. Intense stuff. We switched off with other people now and then (dude, Yasmin is vicious, she goes right in for the kill, but she always runs off when someone accidentally hits her hand), but mostly it was me and Michelle. After a while, Hee Soo and Diana suggested we have war cries, so Michelle was like, "FOR NARNIAAA!!!" and I was like, "SPARTAAAA!!! (I forgot the 'for', ahaha)". It was crazy. I was sweating like crazy, oh my goodness, I'm not even joking. I haven't worked up a sweat for so long, I think Michelle and I burned off all the food we ate. I won pretty much all the round against her, except for the last round, she finally got me. Ahaha. Dude, Michelle kept hitting my thigh when we win after hitting the opponent's stomach, and I'm like, "I would have been dead five hits ago if you aimed higher!" There were lots of epic fails, like the swords missing each other, so it was like we were hacking at the air. Then in the first round, Michelle charged in for the strike, but then she slipped on one foot, and it kind of looked like she was preparing to do the splits. The last round, we were fighting, but then her grip slipped from the sword handle, and it fell onto the ground. Ahaha. Oh yeah, we even fought in those weird olden day duels (but with guns and stuff), where we are back to back, take three steps, then turn around and fight. Ahaha. I swear, I want to duel Michelle again one day. It was just crazy. Though my arms are probably going to be sore tomorrow, and I might have blisters on my feet (I took off my shoes to run around freely), but it's all good. What's life without a bit of danger, adventure, and pain?
Michelle and I were so into our sword fight, we never got to eat cake. Ahaha. It's all good though. Speaking of cake though, we gathered around Yasmin to sing happy birthday to her and stuff, and afterward, Athalia was telling Yasmin to take a bite out of the cake. After a brief chanting of, "bite it," she leaned in to do it when Athalia charged in to smash Yasmin's face into the cake. She was so close, but ended up just ruffling up Yasmin's hair because Yasmin probably saw it coming and retaliated. So close. I was waiting for it too. I had the best view too. Ahaha. Too bad though.
Hrmm, what else happened.
We played on the slide some more. Seriously, the jumper slide was crazy fun, we kept trying to push people off and grabbing someone by the ankle so we'll drag them down with us. Ahaha. This one time, Michelle, Hee Soo, Revathi, Diana, and I were all sitting at the top of the slide, singing random songs like, "Be a Man" from Mulan and "You'll Be In My Heart" from Tarzan. I kept singing out of key though, because my voice was getting hoarse from all the yelling, screaming, and battle cries. Ahaha.
Oh, and Yasmin's dad brought out their super cool telescope and we got a glance at the moon's craters. It was so beautiful. I want to learn some stuff about astronomy one day.
Before leaving, I had a chess battle against Felix. I would have won if I didn't have to leave! I'll have my rematch with him, ONE DAY. Heh, but after a while, Diana and Hee Soo kept saying something about winning in three turns, but I was seriously? Because I didn't see it, though their plan was kind of like what I had planned, but it wouldn't have worked unless it was at leave five turns, so I never really got what they were talking about. The plan didn't work in the end, so I couldn't win quickly. I had to leave the game in Hee Soo's hands before running out to Michelle's dad's car, shouting, "I'LL HAVE MY REMATCH AGAINST YOU, FELIX. ONE DAY. ONE DAAAAY. I'LL HAVE MY REVEEEEENGE." I think I disturbed the neighborhood. Ahaha, my bad, but hey, I had five cotton candies. You guys, don't get cotton candy if you aren't going to finish it! Ahaha.
Once in the car, I felt like I was forgetting something. Then it hit me. My bag. I ran out of the car, burst in through the gates saying, "FELIX, I'M BACK FOR MY REVENGE!" Then everyone was like, "what the heck?!" But I ran off to grab my back, bad a run for the car again shouting, "I'LL CHALLENGE YOU SOME OTHER DAY, FELIX, JUST YOU WAIT." Ahaha. Sorry, Yasmin, if your neighbors complain to you guys tomorrow. Ehehe.
On the way home, Michelle and I chatted a bit, going through the goodie bags we got right before leaving. Michelle opened it and was like, "Crunch! My favorite! How did Yasmin know?!" So I was like, "She's psychic, she inherited my magical powers." Ahaha. Then later, I suggested everyone wear their heart necklace thing to school, so we can all be like, "Power Rangers! Unite!" Ahaha. Okay everyone? Bring it. Or else. OFF WITH YOUR HEAD! Ahaha.
When I got home, I took a shower right away, since my feet were dirty from running around Yasmin's backyard all afternoon. When I turned on the water, my ankle stung (I noticed during I Have Never that the skin of my ankle peeled off a little). I bet it was from the jumper slide! That thing was dangerous(ly fun)! Ahaha. Then again, it was probably because I was wearing an anklet too. Regardless, it's not that bad of an injury. So yeah.
Good times, good times. The spirit of the murdered Alice sure knows how to throw a crazy party. Ahaha.
EDIT: FUDGE, I FORGOT TO DISTRACT YASMIN SO I COULD GET EVERYONE TO SIGN THE BACK OF THE TOTE BAG I GOT HER. FUDGE. EPIC FAIL!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

I HAVE MICHELLE'S BACK

Mood: happy; happy
Currently: chatting with Michelle on AIM <3
Listening to: Hey, Soul Sister --Train

The one of the most awesome AIM chats ever.

Michelle 9:32 pm
i was searching for names on a baby name maker and i started contemplating what i should name my kid later on
i couldn't decide
there are too many names i like
maybe i should just put them all into one long name

Me 9:33 pm
LOL

Michelle 9:33 pm
like: emmmajanejenniferhelenpenelopethalia
XD

Me 9:34 pm
AHAHAHAHA
nice, nice
XDDDD
i really like the name emma
8DD

Michelle 9:34 pm
meee tooo

Me 9:34 pm
i don't like jennifer cause my math teacher always calls me jennifer and i'm like, it's just jenny DX

Michelle 9:35 pm
i like emma for a regular name
XD
im never gonna name my kid jennifer, cuz Fas's 1st name is jennifer
XP
blech

Me 9:35 pm
LOL
niiiice
i heard from victor you were the only one in class who was recommended for trig honors though

Michelle 9:35 pm
anyways, i think jenny sounds better than jennifer for u

Me 9:35 pm
8DDD <3

Michelle 9:36 pm
really?
hrm.
i dont think so

Me 9:36 pm
ohoho~ yeah, i don't think i really look like a jennifer o_O

Michelle 9:36 pm
i dunn remember
tru

Me 9:36 pm
at any rate, thumbs up to yooou :3

Michelle 9:36 pm
u look like a jenny

Me 9:36 pm
ohoho~
8DD

Michelle 9:36 pm
i'll let u read my story when i finish
XD
wait u and victor talk about me?
good things i hope?
or am i getting tooo nosy?
XD

Me 9:37 pm
of course!
8DDD
wait
first: yay, michelle's short story! <3
second: of course we talk good things about you, i'd beat the crude out of victor if you talked ill about you 8Db
third: you're not nosy :3
*if he talked ill

Michelle 9:38 pm
hahha
thanks its nice knowing i can always count on you to watch my back
XD

Me 9:39 pm
X)b
of course!
ohoho~

This is a Day

Mood: happy; neutral; amused
Currently: spazzing about how much work I have, yet I'm blogging...
Listening to: Kiss~ Kaerimichi no Love Song --Tegomass [Lovely Complex ED1]

Today was pretty good. Sketch-out of my day:
0 period//Chemistry: I was tired as always, but I understood what we were learning, so it's all good. But I got back my quiz we took yesterday and I got 10/20. Ouch, an 'F', not going to be pretty on my grade. Most of it was a bunch of dumb mistakes, too! Argh, next time!
1 period//P.E.: Cold morning. Wet grass. Mass of obnoxious guys+special ed. students amongst five girls. Pleasant. As if. Though, lacrosse isn't all so bad in my opinion, at least I can play decently without me having to risk slipping on the wet grass/mud. Also, my team is really nice and actually toss me the ball now and then. On the downside, we used to have this really good player on our team, but he joined football, therefore, switching out of 1 period P.E. And then, there's this other guy who joined our class just like, yesterday, and poor him, got hit by a car this morning while he was biking to school. I hope he's okay, I heard that he was sent to the hospital and everything. May guardian angels watch over him.
2 period//English: Grumpy-ish as usual, I'm never particularly happy in the morning, really. Though I do cheer up then and now because of my dear classmates, though other times they just kind of annoy me . . . Everyone always badmouths the teacher, but I don't really see what they're talking about. Our teacher has a different way of talking, which involves her voice octave going up and down, but hey, it's better than monotone to me.
3 period//Journalism: Bleh. So our school newspaper uses the program InDesign to format the pages and such. So all the new members of journalism learn how to use InDesign second semester to prepare in becoming potential page editors next year. Though, I don't know if I want to join next year or not. Anyhow, so we're learning how to use InDesign, and let me just say this, I feel like a huge chunk of my brain just blew up. In addition to just learning the basics, we have to recreate last issue's front page. Fun project, no? I'll have fun drowning in that class for the next week, with the addition of being in there during snack, lunch, and after school (or else I won't finish it on time). We seriously need more time to do it . . .
4 period//PreCalculus: We had a substitute. She was funny. "I don't accept bribes unless in the form in food. Just kidding, I'll probably steal it from you regardless." We had an opener. It wasn't funny. Dude, I swear, our teacher didn't teach us a chunk of the stuff on there, and we were like, what the heck?! I probably did bad on this opener as well . . .
5 period//History: Yuck, history. I dislike history the most and I don't even know why. Perhaps I'm just uninterested in learning about the past and how it relates to the present? Who knows, but I just don't really seem to care much for history.
6 period//Spanish: I liked Spanish today, well actually, I've liked it recently. Reason being is that we're learning about food. Fun, fun, fun stuff, and I'm not being sarcastic about it this time. I just enjoy writing about food and stuff, using those words when talking to my friends and everything. This is what I like about Spanish: more people understand you. Since I don't have many Chinese friends I'm really close to, it's not like I can talk to them in Chinese, using my newly learned vocabulary (that I usually forget the next day). However, Spanish on the other hand, all of my close friends are learning it, and I love how we can talk in a different language because it feels like we share a particularly special bond. It's just nice.
Anyhow, I also had two epic wins in the class. First is me volunteering to go up and participate in this quick vocabulary review game. So the overhead all showed a bunch of our vocabulary words jumbled about, and two people when up to the pulled-down screen. Each person has a stick (with a sandal stuck on the top of it, don't ask) and when our teacher tells us the English word, we have to point to the Spanish word. Well, I was debating on whether or not to go up, but I decided to last minute when our teacher asked if any final people wanted to play. I seemed to have good luck today, since I happened to be staring at "supermercado" when our teacher said, "supermarket", so I pointed at it almost immediately which made the class wow at my response time. I somehow was able to win successfully two more times in a row when our teacher decided for us to stop and take our vocabulary quiz already. And my second win was just that. I took the quiz, and think I did pretty well. We didn't get to correct each other's quiz this time like usual, but out teacher put the answers up on the television, and I feel like I got 11/10. I would have possibly gotten 12/10 if I didn't make this stupid mistake. I wrote "la azúcar" instead of "el azúcar". Fail! Why would I write "la"?! Ah, whatever, I just hope I don't get another 'B' (or lower) this time. If I accomplish that much, I'll be satisfied.
After school: I was planning to make a quick escape from school to home so I could get working on my homework, but while I was at my locker after school, my best friend and locker buddy, Michelle, came by. Usually when this happens, we walk together and talk for a bit and part ways at the gate as Michelle goes back to volleyball (?) and I go off to a nearby park to wait for my mom to pick me up where there's less traffic. However, today, Michelle started to walk in a different direction. When I inquired where she was going, she said, "I'm going to buy samosas!" which the Rangoli Club was selling. I was going to go buy some tomorrow, but Michelle offered to buy them for me today instead, so I decided to accept her kindness. The little poster things that were passed around school said they were going to be selling samosas in the quad, but when we got there, there wasn't anyone there, so we were really confused for a moment. Then Michelle suggested we check the front gate, and lo and behold, it was there. She bought the samosas and we ate on our way back to the other school gate. The samosa was good and had a very interesting taste to it due to the spice in it. Michelle told me what it was called, but I don't exactly remember what she said anymore. Regardless, it was good. Anyhow, we kept walking to encounter Hee Soo in her track clothing as she exited the girls' locker room. Michelle went off with Hee Soo and we all said our goodbyes.
I walked to the crossing-light and met some friends, the couple, Ryan and Arielle. After chatting a bit, Arielle commented how I had a bunch of books in my hands, and I said something about how I should hire my servants to carry my books. Arielle said, while laughing, "Yeah, that's totally what I would do! But, you know, I don't have any books on me, holds open empty and and her other hand holding Ryan's." Then Ryan commented that he was, however, like a servant/coat holder, holding up his other hand with Arielle's jacket. At that point, I said, "Well, you have to be useful for something." And after seeing the reactions--both of them saying "wooow"--I was a bit worried if I went too far with my joke, since I had a tendency to make really mean jokes about people. But then Arielle said, "Thank you!" as if I had said something that she had never been able to express (jokingly) to Ryan. Then we left in different directions laughing.
Since I called my mom much before I met up with Michelle, she was already waiting in the parking lot of the park, so I went home right away. Once back home, I made my "snack", or "merienda" in Spanish, which was one of those small, boxed lasangas. It was good.
Other than that, and up to this point, nothing really significant popped up, so yeah. My day.

Sleepless Sleepover

Mood: happy; hyper
Currently: at Yasmin's house for a sleepover
Listening to: Sink or Swim -- Tyrone Wells; Diana and Revathi being crazy

I'm currently at Yasmin's house for a sleepover, but currently Diana and Revathi are doing this weird jumping thing. I actually have no idea what in the world they are doing . . . Anyhow, Yasmin's kind of just recording them being crazy as I type what happening. Why? I just had a random temptation to type stuff. Yeah. Well, I wish I could go on AIM, but I don't know if her computer even has it. That or I fail at looking through her programs. Anyhow, even if I could go on AIM, my boyfriend isn't going to be on! His family and a bunch of family friends went on this annual ski trip. Though he did call earlier, which totally made my day. I was waiting all day for my phone to ring. Occasionally, after running off to do something crazy with Yasmin, Revathi, and Diana, I'd run back, trying to find my phone, but once I do, I find that I don't have any missed calls. Since I'm talking about the sleepover, and not Yasmin joined in with the weird jumping thing, I'll give a brief sketch out of what happened today.
First of all, I woke up at noon, since I'm a dork and never wake up until around that time, then I automatically ate my lunch. I watched a bunch of anime before actually finishing packing my stuff. But then I realized that I was short on time, and it wasn't even until 4:30 when I left the house, but that was actually the time the sleepover starts. What's even worse, my dad all had to drop my mom off at the supermarket, so the detour took a bit of time, then yeah, I didn't actually get to Yasmin's house until maybe around 4:45. I got there, Revathi randomly took a picture of me in the doorway, and I was like, "what the?" Oh dang, I just sneezed. I wonder if Hee Soo is talking about me, ahaha, just kidding. Anyhow, so apparently Revathi was there ages ago, she and Yasmin were staring out the window for me to arrive. Then I joined them in the pressing-our-faces-into-the-window-waiting-for-Diana-to-arrive event. Eventually, Diana came about 5:10 and told us her crazy story of why she was late. Then, since Revathi was all excited to, we opened out gifts (since one of the main purposes of the sleepover was the Christmas gift exchange, a tradition we started two years ago, though it wasn't until last year when we made it a sleepover gift exchanging). I got a beautiful blue heart necklace and a pocket dictionary (as a backup for the one my wonderful boyfriend got me) from Diana, don't even get me started on the extremely long Christmas card from her, too. A cute handmade beanie hat, blue bouncy ball, and a blue bandanna from Yasmin. An awesome mini-scrapbook and a small package of lotion from Revathi, along with a heart-felt Christmas card. Heh, I totally failed, getting them all a necklace (except Yasmin, she got a bracelet). Anyhow, we just looked at our things before going to eat pizza for dinner. Randomly, when we were almost done eating, Revathi and Yasmin's brother, Leo, started to have this Nerf gun war. It was hilarious, and I randomly got shot, so I started to sing some of the lyrics to "Sink or Swim". To be exact, the beginning of the song: "Caught in the middle of a crossfire . . ." Anyhow, so the Yasmin sort of joined in, and I was texting people from Yasmin's cell phone to report how things were going with the war. Eventually, Diana and Revathi got sick of me texting all the time, especially since Yasmin suddenly decided to sit next to me, watching me text. Revathi and Diana then decided to drag Yasmin away into the other room. Apparently, Yasmin kind of threw herself onto the couch and got a nosebleed. It was weird. She was seriously like in a sort of hysterics, running around like crazy when she said stuff on how it hurt and that she felt faint. Or actually, as Diana put it, "acting as if she found out she had cancer, but refuses to sit down." Finally, Yasmin calmed down, and everyone settled down a bit. At some point, Yasmin ran upstairs but didn't come back down for a while, so I went up to her room to check up on her. I found her sitting on the little couch underneath her elevated bed, texting. The conversation went a bit like this:
Me: What the, what are you doing.
Yasmin: -continues texting-
Me: -shivers slightly- Aren't you cold?
Yasmin: -continues texting-
Me: Fine, I see how it is. You don't like us, eh?
Yasmin: I. Don't. Need. Friends. I. Have. FELIX. (the person she was texting)
That was like the best quote ever from her. Seriously, the way she said it was seriously just hilarious. Then, after several complaints, we played Indian Poker. For those of you who don't know, it's a game where everyone gets a single card, and you have to take it, put it on your forehead. You can look at everyone else's card except your own. But you have to evaluate if you want to trade your card with someone else's. Then once everyone is done, you put your card face up, and whoever has the highest card wins and they have to give a Truth or Dare to the person with the lowest card. For some reason, the first two "Truth" questions were about my boyfriend. And the first question wasn't even directed towards me! My friends are crazy . . . not like I just realized that now.
"He's hot then he's cold. He's into-Jenny-then-he's-not." --Yasmin, a parody of "Hot and Cold" by Katy Perry.
Anyhow, I just had to record that. So after a few rounds, we started to play Spoons, but before that, Diana tried to explain to Revathi and Yasmin as to how to play the game, but before Diana was even done, Revathi said, "Wait, I'm not even listening, tell me again." So Diana did, but Revathi wasn't listening again! This went on for who knows how long. Anyhow, finally, we went onto the game, and Revathi was confused for a while, which is where Diana and I ganged up on her saying, "That's what you get for not listening!" We stopped with our crazy card games after a while when Yasmin told us that her parents were going to sleep, so we had to go back downstairs. We just messed around a bit, and then I stole Yasmin's computer to go on Facebook. I was kind of just lying around like a dead person until Diana randomly wanted to eat the leftover pizza, so I decided to eat one too. I still had half a cold pizza slice left when I heard my cell phone ring. I jumped up out of the chair I was sitting in and ran to my cell phone. I picked up expectantly, and said "hi" in this foreign, sweet voice that I somewhat disgusted myself with. Anyhow, I chatted with my boyfriend for a while before he had to leave. Then I stole Yasmin's computer again to blog, which is where I typed about what was happening currently, and onto what I'm typing now. Yeah. Good times, good times. Since I "briefly" talked about my day, time for me to join the rest of them as they play Guitar Hero.

Too Many Places to be At

Mood: happy; neutral
Currently: talking to people on AIM.
Listening to: Pictures of You --Last Goodnight

Last Goodnight is the best band ever (if only they had more albums!).
So today was interesting. I've been running back and forth around school lately. First it was for journalism, now it's for Octagon . . . but it's all good. Anyhow, today started a bit slow. Then again, I was in a rush. Does that even make sense? Anyhow. I was late for 0 period, and I wanted to run to class, but I had 10 cans (for the canned food drive) and it was obviously hard to run. I ended up pushing myself to run as fast as I could with the extra weight, which wasn't very fast, and came into the Chemistry room breathing heavily, my legs feeling numb. Yasmin then proceeded to give me a weird look. She stole three cans from me for Spanish club, and relieved me of some weight. Though I wanted to turn in my cans before first period, but the door was locked. I went through PE awkwardly. I can never seem to make a basket, and my teammate who was kind enough to give me more than a few chances has lost hope in me. Then English came round, it was okay, there was this activity where we walked across the room when we agreed with what the teacher said like, "Do you believe in love at first sight?" I don't, for the record. I believe that people can be interested at first meeting each other, but that's not love to me. Anyhow. Then it was Journalism, it was a free period, so I just did my math and Spanish homework. Turned in my cans at snack, went to my locker and spent the rest of snack eating my lunch (as I normally do). During silent reading, I was reading a book I stole from Victor, The Mediterranean Caper by Clive Cussler. It's actually really interesting. I wasn't really sure I'd like it at first, but it's really captivating. Anyhow, then Pre-calculus started. It was pretty boring and I'm always in danger of falling asleep in there. Not good since I sit in the very front and next to the teacher. Eventually History came and we were assigned a project. Besides being assigned a person from the Enlightment, we didn't do anything, so it was basically like a free period. Lunch was so chaotic. First I went to the Octagon room because I got an email saying that the canned food drive organization was taking place at lunch instead of afterschool. But when I got there, an officer told me it was afterschool, so I just left. I hanged out with Emily and company, but decided to put my lunchbag away earlier than normal. On the way to my locker, I was sidetracked by Michelle and ended up walking her to the gym, since she was going to watch club volleyball. I was walking towards my locker again when I saw the Octagon Club president, Theodore. He was carrying these boxes and it looked a bit heavy. He put it on the ground and started to shift the boxes around, as if looking for a way to make carrying them more manageable. Since I was right there, I asked him for help. Theo gratefully accepted my offer, and since he was in a rush, we ran back to the Octagon room. On the run there, I saw Diana, Revathi, and Yasmin (I don't recall seeing Hee Soo there) carrying around boxes, too. It was a funny encounter. Anyhow, when I got into the Octagon room, I saw that people were there organizing the cans, and I was like, "What the . . ." Apparently there was some kinda of mix up. Anyhow, I spazzed, but I was determined to help as I originally offered to. I ran to my locker to put my lunchbag away as I first intended to, ran all the way back to the clubroom and attempted to help in whatever way I could. Soon lunch ended and found they were moving the food to the ASB room later afterschool, and so I figured I'd go and help out then, too. ASDFGHJKL; (my keysmash meant that stuff happened and Spanish zipped by quickly) I was all in a rush to my locker, but I had to stop and quickly explain everything I just typed about Octagon to them, then I rushed off to the clubroom. After helping transporting the goods, though, Diana, Hee Soo, and Yasmin wanted to stick around or something. Hee Soo had to leave soon after sitting down at a table. I did English homework as Diana and Yasmin conversed about random topics I didn't pay much attention to. I feel like mayonnaise and seagulls were included at some point though . . . Diana had to leave later on while spazzing about her caucus outline for MUN. Yasmin boredly played around with her cell phone and such as I finished up my English hoemwork. She then accompanied me to my locker, while taking a detour to kick someone else's. After putting my English textbook away, my father called, so Yasmin and I headed for the parking lot. With a lot of confusion, Yasmin hitched a ride home before I got home. Now I'm just IMing people and such. Loads of fun. Anyhow, time to do some more productive IMing (since I don't really have any homework I need to do).

Promises

Mood: happy; sad; mournful
Currently: doing math homework that's due Tuesday; going to bed soon
Listening to: Da Cheng Xiao Ai --Leehom Wang

Why do I remember that day? Years ago when Stephany Lee, a girl I hanged out with during the fourth grade, was still around. That specific day her parents took us to Chucky Cheese to play. Afterwards, we went to a small Korean barbecue restaurant they knew. I feel like I remember the details of that day too well. Stephany leaned over in her chair to tell me, half laughing, that her dad just told her that he thought I was wearing lipstick (in elementary school, my lips were naturally very red). I laughed along with her. Later, when the waiter gave us our water, Stephany looked at me, turned away, then quickly looked back at me. She started laughing abruptly and I looked at her with a confused face. She told me that for some reason, the red plastic spring I got as a prize from Chucky Cheese's looked like a cup. In her mind, she told me that she wondered how I got such a special cup. We shared another laugh again. We were eating when her father offered me a small dish of sauce, though telling me that it was spicy. I told him that I didn't like spicy things, however, but he persisted, telling me I should try just a dab. I gave in, dipping my chopsticks in the red mixture. In a few seconds, I made a grab for my ice water and gave a mighty glup. I held the cup's edge near my mouth and let out a sigh. I noticed a huge puff of visible air disappear. I commented how it was almost like I was breathing fire. We all laughed and proceeded to eat. My flashback ends there. But then I remember back to other times. Going to CPE and swimming with her during the summer. I remember buying a cookie from the vending machine and splitting it with her in the back of my mom's car. She then sneezed loudly and I asked if she was cold. She just said that she sneezed in the summer for some reason. We shrugged it off and proceeded to nibble on the cookie delicately. We went to my house to play with my Polly Pocket dolls. I still have a picture of us that day. I was in a long, soft, velvet-colored dress while Stephany wore jeans and her signature snuggly green vest. Another time, I remember being in her room, and she was sharing her cute collection of stamps she had with me. There was a sheet of stickers with dogs that felt fuzzy when you touched them.
They were good times. Memories I hope to never forget. Though I wish they never had to stop, those moments together. Selfish as I am, I wished her mom didn't have to get pregnant, and I wished Stephany did have to live so far away, because then she wouldn't have transferred. Binds that tie us are frail, lines of fate are easily severed now, aren't they? Just more the reason why it's so frightening to say goodbye. What if it was for the last time? It was a heartache when I went to school the next day, and she's wasn't there. I went to her home and she wasn't there, she moved. I called, but no one answered, the number's changed. Emails never got through. I never got to say goodbye again. Though what I want is just to say hi once more and talk and laugh.
"Dear Jenny, Always remember that I'll be your best friend forever. Love, Stephany Lee."
Of course, I'll remember, you idiot. Dangit. I'm more worried whether or not you remember.

I Always Seem to Type to Blog Title Last

Here I am as always, up during unsightly hours of the morning that could also be referred to as night. I've been thinking a lot, as always, and you know, I feel very insecure. I'm not going to go on a rampage again about feeling "uneasy" and all, this is a different type of insecurity. I think. Ages and ages before on this blog, I told a tale from years before, my childhood. If I think about what I say to people, I feel like I make it overly dramatic about having no "real" friends back then. I blamed a great deal of my old friends for using me and wanting to do nothing with me when I was long overdue. But I kind of wonder if it's really just all my fault. I was happy. I really did enjoy hanging out with them, Meghan, Erin, Mary Anne, Stephanie, Tiffany, Kayla, Caroline, Jennifer, Catherine, and of course, Michelle. During the different years, I've moved on from friend to friend, and in most cases, I never really talked to my old friends from the previous grade. She'd be busy with her new friends, and I'll be busy with mine, but it never really bothered me until the fourth grade. The story is long and has been told too many times, but it's a real-life story that I felt like changed my entire view of my friends. Betrayal and blurred memories are cruel things. All I know is that, after that day, I've accused my friend at the time for using me and backstabbing me. But is what I thought happened really occur? Is everything I told myself a lie, and all the hatred built up from falsehood? Was one of the few grudges I could never let go never existent between the two of us? Then it wasn't just her, that one girl, it was all of them. I thought ill of my old friends, but wasn't it the both of us who moved on? Wrath is a sin I am guilty of. Michelle was the only one who was spared from my criticism and judgment. After all, she was the only one who'd talk to me once in a while even after kindergarten has passed. Year after another, we'd hang out once in a while. That's how she became to be my best friend, and somehow my "only real friend". This old tale gets longer when I've learned to regret what I've thought about my friends, though the story never seems to change (As I've said in a previous post, I tend to want pity. Hey, this entire post could be filled with my pity-yearning words. I can't even understand myself anymore . . .). In the sixth grade, when my sister went off to college, it got lonesome at home, and I felt bad about never making an effort to stay friends with people for over a year. And so I ventured to enforce my friendship with Michelle. Before I entered middle school, I was torn when I learned Michelle wasn't attending the same school as me. I wanted to hold onto her, the one person who never seemed to get sick of my company and the person I worked with so much so that our bond was strong. I found that our friendship wasn't so flimsy and I would go and contact Michelle occasionally over the two years. When I moved onto high school, the first thought that entered my mind was, "I can see Michelle almost everyday again." And when the school year began, I wondered. Indeed, I got to see her, talk to her, but then she'd hang out with her friends. Of course she'd make new friends. Michelle isn't a person who'd go past the years without making an effort to be around people she likes. I made friends, people who I really enjoy being around, too. But you know, they always hang out. They go to the beach, they go to movies, they have picnics and potlucks. Some days, I would just I stand behind Michelle and listen to her talk to her friends. She'd sound so happy, and the rest of them were too, laughing until their guts hurt. And sometimes I wondered if she liked being around them more than me. I'm not that cheery of a person (go figure). I try to look on the bright side, but when it comes to the "bright side" for me, it's more like the loony side. If you hang out with me a lot (I don't know who would be reading this if they didn't), don't even pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. Laughing insanely for no reason, talking nonsense and babbling weird, happy things. I know I can be happy without being a nut, but I feel like I'm just a nut anyways all the time. By the way, I'm very self-conscious about being "weird" around people I don't really know which is usually why in class, I'm as stiff as a stick--which are actually pretty bendy, depending on it's thickness. Anyhow, I'd worry if I bring Michelle down sometimes. "Live, laugh, and laugh some more." is her motto, she told me once. Every now and then, I have an insecure moment for myself to worry about my friendship with her. One of the days happened to be yesterday, by the way. Program verification day is coming up for school, which means we need to find locker buddies and such. Last year, I was Michelle's partner, and this year, I forgot about the whole thing for so long, I was worried that someone else teamed up with Michelle (Last year, I asked her several months in advance because I didn't want her middle school friends taking the opportunity. Not like I didn't/don't love you guys, Pie.). I worried all day yesterday and I finally gathered up the courage to call (Since in truth, I get nervous about phone calls.). The line was busy and I threw my phone down dramatically then proceeded by shaking my fists at the heavens. But then I had to check if my phone was still alive. Yes, I was trying to be funny when I was typing that (Although it did happen, strangely enough.). Was anyone amused? Then, today, when my dad handed the phone over to me and I was pretty surprised when I heard Michelle's voice on the other end. I was absolutely blissed that she called me to ask if I wanted to be locker buddies with her, absolutely blissed. Right now at um, 3:30AM, I'm still very happy that she wanted to be paired up with me again. She even said sorry for not really staying touch with me, which was so nice of her, especially since I basically did nothing either . . . Guilt trip. Then we had a nice little talk about what we were going to do about our locker, and yeah. After I hanged up, I was still high on relief. Then I went back to my guilt trip. I doubt Michelle at times, about if she really wants to hang out with me or not, but then she does something for me that just makes me want to slap myself for being a bad friend and doubting her. You know, after typing for so long, and now I'm really really really tired, I went from a serious typing blog person to a person who wants to put in a random comedy video that I haven't even seen. Basically, I have no idea why I'm talking about this anymore. I had to scroll up to reread what I said earlier. Insecure. Yeah, I felt insecure about my friendship with Michelle, but now it's all better. Yay! Okay, I'm going to bed, night.

What Happened?

Well, I totally don't remember what's been happening in the last few days, so I'll have a hard time summing it up.
There was Friday and we were playing Foccer in cross country again. I managed to not trip. I just go rammed into by Yasmin several times, but it's all good. No bruises, no cuts, which means no bleeding internally or externally. If you ask me, it was a pretty successful day.
I went home after going to the weight room, took a shower, went on the computer for a bit. It was around 11 o' clock when I decided to sleep for a little while. I didn't see it coming, my mom yelling at me to wake up. At 3 o'clock. I had another potluck to go to, this time with Revathi, Diana, Yasmin, Hee Soo, and, Pooja. A small group of people who I had to make sandwiches for! So once again I had the duty of making sandwiches. Once I was done, I had a few moments to mess around and then I had to bustle over to Friendship Park, which only took me a few minutes to walk to from my house. It was pretty fun. Pooja brough yummy pasta, Hee Soo brought soda and leftover chips (from her sister's party apparently), Diana brought chips, Yasmin brought cookies and some random french bread that smelled really good, and Revathi brought the plasticwear. The food was good. Once again, though, my sandwiches had leftovers. I don't think I mentioned this in the blog post about the other potluck, but apparently everyone ate before coming and was too full to finish my sandwiches. I ended up eating a bunch of it and near the end of it, a few people took one. Anyhow, we just sat around, talking for a while, then Revathi and I kept stealing Hee Soo's bike--which she used to ride over to the park--to ride around the park. It was fun. I haven't ridden a bike in several years. I was really shaky at first, but then I got the hang of it again, and I was glad that you never really forget how to ride a bike. We sat down like civilized people again to talk, eat food randomly, then at some point, Yasmin stole Hee Soo's bike, Diana and Revathi ran off to go on the swings, and other crazy stuff was happening. During all this time, a bunch of pictures was being taken. It was nice how we actually got pictures of all of us hanging out. Most of the time, Diana and Revathi just hide from the camera, so there aren't ever any decent pictures to post on Facebook or anything. Of course all the other people on Facebook (especially the people including Jennie, Emily, Timothy, Avi, and Kyle) post millions of pictures of every time they go out and play.
On Saturday, I just went to art class. I saw Julia, of course. We talked a bit during break. It was pleasant to have someone to talk to for once. As I believe I've said before, during break, I normally just sit there, on some days I get up for a drink of water, but other than that, my butt is on the chair.
Today, Sunday, I didn't accomplish much. I did clean a big chuck of my room, I'm so proud of myself! Oh, and during the course of the week, I've slowly been progressing on my math homework. My sister says that I have until Friday to make up all the work I should have done while she was in China--in the end, I never finished it--or else she'll start charging me money for each late day. My family is crazy, my sister keeps telling me, "do your math homework!", my mom tells me a few minutes later, "clean your room!", and my dad just appears out of nowhere to steal my chips (jokingly. He always steals my food.) when he can get his own from the bag. I can't do my math homework and clean my room at the same time, guys! I could try, I did try, I failed. In the end, I gave up and starting playing games on my computer. Since I cleaned a part of my room, I guess I'll spend tomorrow doing some math homework instead. That way I can sort of keep the two of them happy. Oh, and my dad should just get his own chips.

Wonderment

Sometimes I like to sit back and stop anything and everything I'm doing. Just a moment to think. And the melancholy thought rolls in. "Why do people like me?" I can see many traits in my friends that make the likable and why I'd want to be around them. However, myself? I do see as many. I will admit honestly, I do try to be nice and helpful to my friends. If they've been having a bad day, I want to be there and lend a shoulder to be wept upon. Except sometimes, I don't even think I'm worthy of their love or admiration. Allow me to rant and lavish angrily at myself for a moment.
I'm short-tempered, first of all. Very. It's been better lately, but sometimes, I feel that old, violent angry in me comes back where I just want to scream at the top of my lungs, until my throat bleeds and burns. I clench my fists but keep them at my sides. I wish to kick and fight, but I bind myself still. Awkwardly still. Oh, how I wish I could just unleash those bound limbs and fight. This is the only thing I am extremely capable at controlling, before my emotional control. Even at my peak, I somehow coax myself to calm down enough to relax and look neutral once again.
I like to pretend that I'm this knowledgeable person sometimes, this mature figure people think they can depend on. But I'm not. I constantly lecture one friend of mine on how she should stop lying to herself and everyone around her, for her to just be herself. Well, how silly. I don't think I'm myself. I pretend occurrences happened in my life, but they didn't. They were just figments of my imagination used to make people think I have an interesting life that's either funny, painful, sorrowful, lonely, or whatever. If you ask several people I'm acquainted with, you can tell the alternation of a person they're talking about. The problem with my friend and her version of trying to spice up her life is that she is very obvious, almost to the point where I think she's just trying to tick me off by lying. She says things that contradict, events overlap so it can't be possible to happen, the same person at the same time does the opposite thing then what she said the first time, and there are many things. I'm at least relatively consistent, I know how to act with a certain group of people, and I remember generally what I've said to them. you can say that I'm scolding my friend for her acting out her imagined life poorly. Which is still messed up.
Well, continuing from what I was saying earlier. I'm very boring. I don't have anything about me that's interesting. I'm a normal girl with average grades who's mood is neutral half the time. I don't do anything fun. I sit there and play games. Maybe read once in a while. Paint or draw even less often. Listen to a lot of music. Eat some junk food and maybe some fruit. I do my homework. Then I sleep. It's not like I'm in a sport or anything, I don't have this "family" or team. I go home everyday right after school and sleep, trying to not think of what I could be doing or what I should be doing. I don't think about how deep down I wish I was a part of them. To share an activity I want to do with others, to work together, to help each other. Then I think about how useless I am. I'm no good at sports, I can't throw, can't catch, can't hit with a bat, racket, club, etc. The only think I can be even considered good at is running, but still. I fail. I'm utterly useless, and no one would want me.
At times, I am really a nasty person. I think very negative things about the people around me, about my family, teachers, even my friends. And to an extent, sometimes I wished we'd just stop being friends. I'd be frustrated at how they'd come flocking to me all the time when I'd rather not speak to them. I seriously think that the people I want to hang out with depends on the time of the year and how I'm feeling. Sometimes, I see people and I just want to run to them and give them a big hug. Other times, I have a hard time to stop myself from running away from people walking in my direction. And the rest of the time, most of the time, I'm neutral. I notice them, but I am neither excited or displeased at seeing them. I don't walk to them, but I don't walk away, just going to my destination, my locker or a classroom perhaps.
Whenever I just think about those things, I disgust myself. What kind of friend am I? The person you can rely on one minute, and the person who wants to kill you the next?

Just One of Those Days

So today was a pretty decent day. My friends, Diana and Revathi came over to my house to hang out (even though I think it's pretty boring at my house, Revathi insists that vegetating together is much more fun). My other friend, Yasmin, she was supposed to be here, but due to a slight mix up about the plans, it turns out she couldn't be with us today on our day of sitting around, with occasional chatter. We played some Chinese checkers, stared at each others' blogs, and sat there talking about random things. It wasn't a "wow, today was the best day of my life and it was so exciting!" kind of day, but it was nice to have them to just to chill.