Come Down Now . . .

Mood: happy; nostalgic; sad
Currently: remembering the simple times
Listening to: Such Great Heights --The Postal Service

Darkness lay all around
And I lay alone
Surrounded in a comforting world.

I watched your shadows pass by,
Walking to and fro,
They go.

Listen to my silent cry,
Hear my quiet voice
From beneath the breaking waves.
Listen to these silent words
Screaming frantically for you.

I watched your shadows pass by,
Walking to and fro,
They go.

Footsteps ceased,
Lights went off,
And silence screamed at me.

I used to watch your shadows pass by,
Walking to and fro,
They go.

I closed my eyes
And floated away
From that comforting world.
I went away,
On a trip,
And whispered "goodnight" to myself.

Look Away

Mood: happy; in a sing-song mood
Currently: thinking about how I should stop eavesdropping
Listening to: Sink or Swim --Tyrone Wells

This is a song (I guess) that I made up randomly in journalism as I listened to these girls talk about the other person's boyfriend. Mainly they were complaining about his complaining, and yeah, not too much of the lyrical poem (?) were about them, but this idea came because of them. Yeah. Just a whole lot of repetition. Ahaha.

What Am I Supposed to Think?

You sat two seats
To the right from me,
And sometimes as I turned the page of my book,
I would glance up and see you.

I looked at you,
You looked at me,
I looked away,
You looked away,
I looked back at you,
You looked back at me,
And neither of us turned away.
What am I supposed to think now?

The next day you said hi to me
So I said hi back to you.
We talked about nothing
Yet it felt like we shared everything.
What is this feeling now?

The next week you told me
You loved me.
I couldn't help but to be happy.
I looked at you,
You looked at me,
And we smiled.

The next month you said hi to me
And I said hi to you.
We talked about everything
Yet it felt like we shared nothing.
What is this feeling now?

I looked at you,
You looked at me,
And you looked away.
What am I supposed to think now?

Have I Found You,

Mood: happy; neutral; thoughtful
Currently: attempting to sing in Japanese along with the song I'm listening to
Listening to: Tabi no Tochuu [Ookami To Koushinryou OP]--Kiyoura Natsumi

Waldo?! Ahaha, just kidding. Anyhow, I've recently become addicted to the song I'm listening to. It's such a soothing song, yet its lyrics are so conflicting, of one's journey to find love. At first I didn't really think much of it, but I really liked it after listening to it again. I really recommend listening to it. Just the lyrics don't give the song enough credit. [ x ]
Lyrics:
Within the journey
Where I grew lost all alone,
Only my heart wandered and stood still,
But now I can
Continue walking.
That’s right, after I met you
On this road.
Unknown songs
That travelers sing-
They sound familiar to me
If I’m just with you.
If the world that I dreamed of
Exists somewhere
Then shall we go search for it?
To the other side of the wind,
Let’s go see the end of the
Freezing daybreaks,
Parched middays,
And shivering dark nights.
Your eyes
Know of loneliness,
Because they’re dazzling
And reflect that color.
I fly high to the sky
And become the crescent moon.
The mint-colored stars are surely
The fragments of tears.
The harbor of the eastern country, the western seaside,
In the dark forest, the southern city, a golden tower,
The northern hill, the same moon that swayed in the water.
If it’s okay for me to hold
Your outstretched hand
Then where shall we go?
Together with you
We can go anywhere,
Let’s go embrace
The commotion and aroma
Of the world still unseen.

"The Devil Inside, I See Your Eyes Are Changing . . ."

Mood: happy; confused; stressed
Currently: trying to work on my English essay but failing
Listening to: Poison Kiss --The Last Goodnight

"green to white. There's nowhere to hide, inside I feel the same. I feel the same way, too." Poison Kiss --The Last Goodnight
Anyhow. I seriously confuse myself sometimes. I feel like I have a point that I want to say, which totally makes sense in my head. But once I try to reason with it or start talking about it, I'm just like, that totally makes no sense at all . . . Like, for dinner, there was this soysauce filled dish or something. Anyhow, I was looking at it from a certain angle that the glint of the light made the brown liquid look white. Strangely enough, I started to think how if I tried to paint that, it would be really confusing if I painted it all white on the surface. Then for some reason, I thought that was a understandable. I thought about it more, wondering if I should bring it up in a conversation. Then I was like, wait what? Because it is white from my perspective. Why would it be weird to paint it that way? I tried to explain it to myself, then I started wondering why I was even thinking about painting in the first place. Eventually I told myself that I would make a good abstract painter, which only proved to confuse myself even more. I swear, I wish there was an off button for my mind. It thinks about the strangest things and I'm seriously worried if it's something that I subconciously want to do or if that's what I honestly believe in. I'm scared to find out.

Song in Praise of Colors

Irodori no Sanka (Song in Praise of Colors) --Kagrra
[ x ]

You sigh and lower your gaze on this endless journey,
Not even knowing about turning around.
You kill your voice and hide your body,
Trying to hide the festering wounds
Only slows down the healing.
Raise your head.
The sky shines in azure.
The land praises the growing prayers.
Sometimes people lose their precious things without noticing,
But, in the distance, a light is shining.
The tears of sadness are constantly carried away by time,
And under the flag of "freedom",
We repeat our mistakes.
Even though we're born divided into white, black, red, and yellow,
There are no differences in our wishing voices.
The sky shines in azure.
The land praises the growing prayers.
People are always blown by the wind
And keep singing their words which are overflowing with love,
The light softly embraces them.
Even if, in this world, all life will someday stop and end up in nothing,
On the last day, I just want to embrace you in my heart
And then smile.
Human beings are all roaming travelers,
Without any aim inside their solitude.
But I guess they will notice someday
They are not all alone, but just on their own.
The light will always wait, narrowing your eyes.

Sharing is Caring

"Until I can reach the sky, I believe, until the next tomorrow, hey. Come on, let's go everybody, oh, we share the music. We share the music. Come on, let's go baby baby, oh, we share the one dream. Come on, let's go everybody, oh, we share the good times. We share the good times. Come on, let's go baby baby, oh, we share the one world. Getting lost in the darkness and uncovering the mystery, stopping when you can't see the destination. Umm, you and me, yes, it feels good, let's share the world. Guiding me, I feel the beat, I start walking towards it, oh yeah. Share the music, anytime. share the one dream and believe in each other. Share the good times, holding hands. Share the one world now. I keep going until I can reach the sky. Let's overcome it now, I believe in the next tomorrow, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Come on, let's go everybody, oh, we share the music. We share the music. Come on, let's go baby baby, oh, we share the one world."
Share the world --DBSK [One Piece OP 11]

ARE NOW ARE GONE

"YOU KNOW THE CLOSER YOU GET SOMETHING, THE TOUGHER IT IS TO SEE IT. AND I'LL NEVER TAKE IT FOR GRANTED. LET'S GO."
Closer --Joe Inoue
"'CAUSE I WANT TO GO BACK TO THE VERY LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL. SO MUCH PAIN, SO MUCH STRAIN, BUT STILL I HAD FRIENDS WHO MADE ME FEEL THE WAY I'LL NEVER FEEL. EVER. AGAIN.
LIFE. WAS. WORTH LIVING WITH THE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOW ARE GONE."
Haru --Joe Inoue

Inspired by my blog post. I just felt like singing it, so technically it's a song, and not a poem.

In Reality
I stuffed my hand into my pocket
And drew out a key.
It flashed twice in the light,
Then I hid it once again.
Did you
Really think
That this is the end?
IIIIIIIIIIIIII
I just wanted to let you know,
Everything you see right now,
Isn't everything
In reality.
IIIIIIIIIIIIII . . .
I faced the sea,
And I faced the wind,
As I fingered the key.
I balled my hand into a fist
And thrust it at the sea.
But IIIIIII,
I kept the key in my hand.
Why is letting go,
So hard . . .
IIIIIIIIIIII-I . . . I . . .
I just wanted to let you know
That everything you see right now
Isn't everything
In reality.
But I wish that this was all,
All that there was to my story,
But there's more.
And IIIIIII,
I just wanted to let you know,
That everything
That you see right now
Isn't everything,
In reality,
Noooo . . .

Everything and Nothing

This might seem like a love poem, which I guess it could be, but I just thought of it randomly with a little inspiration from Kuroshitsuji (Yes, Hee Soo, I'm reading it).

"Everything and Nothing"
No matter where you are,
You are my everything.
But why is it that I feel
When you aren't here with me
That I'm not anything to you?
I'm nothing.

We're making promises
To be together
Forever
When we don't even know how long
Forever will be.

We can laugh and smile,
Because these tears tickle
As they trickle their way
Down our cheeks
And off our faces.
They're beautiful,
These beads of jade.

Ah, the footsteps,
They fall
So close.
Hush.
Don't breath,
Don't speak,
Don't listen,
Don't look.
Don't you cry,
I'll protect you
This final time.

There is no forever
If you're gone,
If you die.
So please,
Stay alive,
For just a while longer.

So quiet now.
Be silent,
Don't make a single sound.
Remember that last time
We smiled and laughed together,
Because that tear,
It tickles,
As it travels down your face.
But please,
Wipe your tears from your eyes
So I can gaze into their beauty
For this last time.

There is no forever
If you are gone,
If you die.
So please,
Stay alive,
For several years to come.

As long as you continue to live,
Forever will remain with you.
Continue to be happy for me,
And continue on living.
This sadness is only temporary,
But you'll find my existence unnecessary.
So go on,
Live.
Be happy.

Because you are everything
And I am nothing.

If I Talk to God

I really like the song, "If I Talk to God" by The Last Goodnight. And if you guessed, "and now she's going to post the lyrics," you are correct! Just as a side note, to you religious people, or maybe even non-religious, if you find that this song is offending, I don't mean to be. Well, I'm speaking for myself, it's not like I wrote the lyrics. Except they did remind me of a time that whenever I was in a desperate situation I'd "talk or pray to God", but to other people, it just looked like I was talking to myself again. Of course, my prayers are hardly ever answered. I guess in a religious person's eyes, it's because I'm not a true believer. It is pretty selfish of me to only pray when I just want to save myself from a bad situation, but I guess it could be a desperate reflex. It isn't like I'm completely against God's existence, even though I'm technically an atheist. I'd accept His presence if someone gave me some kind of proof or show me a miracle that occurred (not what they heard from a myth, but something that happened to them) that can't be explained besides it being God's work. Isn't there a word for a person who doesn't deny God's existence but doesn't really believe in Him either?
Anyhow, back to the lyrics as promised:
You're so fragile, I know,
Some things we cannot control.
I am so selfish, it shows,
I just can't let go.
Tell me three little lies,
Everything is alright.
It tears me all up inside.
If I talk to God,
I don't know if He's listening
When I speak out loud.
I don't know if He's home.
I'm talking to myself,
'Cause no one else is listening.
Stay another day
And will it all go wrong?
If I talk to God.
I hate the words that I said,
They lay so still in my head.
I hope I never regret
If I just let go.
Goodbye to time well spent,
I've got nothing to defend,
And is this really the end?
If I talk to God,
I don't know if He's listening
When I speak out loud.
I don't know if He's home.
I'm talking to myself,
'Cause no one else is listening.
Stay another day
And will it all go wrong?
If I talk to God.
And you can feel me when you fall,
When your backs against the wall,
And you know this town we live up in
Is the loneliest of all.
And you can feel me when you're down,
And when your world turns upside down,
I know this place we're living in
Is the loneliest of all.
If I talk to God,
I don't know if He's listening
When I speak out loud.
I don't know if He's home.
I'm talking to myself,
'Cause no one else is listening.
Stay another day
And will it all go wrong?
If I talk to God.
I will be the colors in the rain,
When you're lying up and wide awake.
Hold on, hold on, I will for you.
I will be the truth inside you lies,
When you close your eyes at night,
I will, I will, hold on, for you.

Days Come and Go

I like it how Blogger, no matter how long it takes, it'll say the date and time you started typing you're post. I didn't even finish my last post just a moment ago, three days later then the date indicates. Oh well. Well, I've been tempted to type several little entries so I'm going to cramp them all in here.

Blogging, Blogging, Delete
I write a lot of blog entries, despite what my readers may or may not think, but in the end, I wind up deleting them. I don't post it, I just go to "Edit posts" and I delete my drafts. For some reason, I feel huge urges to post about something, then later I feel like there's really no point to them. Like I wanted to say something really important, but nothing comes out of my throw but vomit. It's an eyesore, and thus, I clean it up. Except, it's not like this post has any particular purpose either, though.

It's a Song Apparently
I just realized that those little words under that big picture on my blog is part of a song. I figured it was something like that, though. I imagined the song to be a little bit, how do I saw this, faster? I don't really like the song, it's too mellow for my liking, but I like the lyrics, so I decided to post them.
"Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton:
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven
Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please
Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Tears in heaven
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

One Trust
"One Trust" is actually a song title by The Last Goodnight. Lately, all I can listen to are songs by The Last Goodnight, but I really like they're songs. It's a pity they only have one CD. A CD which I happen to have in my possession right now. Yes! Well, it's not really mine. It's Michelle's. Since she's a fan of them, too, and she just loved their songs so much, she just had to buy the CD. Michelle, the kind person she is, is lending it to me for the moment. I'm glad she trusts me to take care of her little treasure, even though I'm pretty clumsy. Once, a friend of mine got me a bracelet. It was so pretty and I wore it daily. Then one day, at my locker, somehow when I was reaching to get my stuff, the bracelet got hold of the corner of the locker door and yanked apart. It was devastating really. I had it for maybe a week. This is actually why I don't really like to wear accessories besides a watch on a daily basis. I normally wear a necklace or something once in a while on a special day. Other than that, I leave them in the safety of my jewelry box. Anyhow, back to the point of my blog post! So I was watching "One Piece" as always. Then it comes to the episode where Luffy's brother, Ace, appears, and I was like, "Oh yeah! He has a brother!" Well, his nakama (team, friends, "family", it has a lot of meanings you can interpret it as) apparently didn't know either. Then I realized that the crew doesn't really know much about each other, about they're pasts and all. Despite that fact, they are the best of friends. This may be a really slow update for me, but it doesn't matter if you know ever fact about your friends for them to be your friend. What Luffy and the others have, though, is the title of this blog post. Trust. They trust each other with their lives at stake. They believe that they'll pull through to save themselves and each other. Friends are no different. Sure, it's pretty important about what's occured in you're friends' pasts. They're the person they are because of what's happened to them. Except friendship, in the end, is just not friendship if you can't trust each other. If you aren't able to tell each other the truth, if you aren't able to confide with one another, and if you aren't able to trust them with your life.

Saturday Surprise
I found out that Julia's name (Michelle and Susan's friend from Tezlaff) is actually spelled Joolia. I also discovered that her last name is Ip. She certainly has an interesting name. Most importantly, I found out she's in my art class. It was Independance Day, Fourth of July, and guess which class doesn't know the definition of a national holiday? My art class at Quest. Well, it's not like I had any plans. I went to art class and entered the room when a girl turned around to see who entered the room. I stared and stared, thinking, "Isn't that Joolia?" Apparently she processed the shock faster then I did, and she greeted me with a pleasant, "Oh my gosh, hi Jenny!" along with a hug. It seems that she started art class three weeks ago, at the start of summer, just like I did last year. Anyhow, I just found my encounterment was significant. It's not everyday where you go to a potluck with some friends, then the next day you find out for the first time that one of your friends have been in your class for the past three weeks. Art class is just once a week, mind you. So it's technically for the past three classes. It's not like you can blame me for not noticing, though. Art class isn't like a normal classroom where you have an assigned seat and the teacher takes attendance. You come in when you come in and you sit where the teachers tell you to sit. The class gets fairly crowded and once you're ushered off into your seat, you get working. Whether or not you look around and talk to people depends on you, though you'll get scolded by the teachers occasionally. Me, being a well-behaved student (and having no courage to talk to anyone) I tend to glue myself to my seat for the two hours. I sometimes get up to get a quick drink from the water fountain at break, but other than that, I'm just focusing on my work. Since it was a holiday, practically everyone ditched class except people like me and Joolia, we gained the oppurtunity to meet.

Yeah, that's it. Just four, realtively short posts.

Incomplete

I was doing more math review worksheets, but I was listening to more songs by The Last Goodnight and I really like this song, "Incomplete".
Can I have your attention, please?
If you didn't want the garden, why did you plant the seed?
You're making promises that you never keep,
Now you deal with the consequences down on your knees.
And maybe we will do this for the rest of our lives,
Maybe we will live forever,
And maybe we don't have to think it's right.
And maybe we will.
I don't feel what you feel,
I don't want to feel this incomplete.
No one here can tell me
How to fill this space between.
Everyone knows you're my one regret,
Everyone knows you're my one weakness.
The butterfly, the butterfly is beautiful but soon will die.
Will spread its wings in the eternal sky.
Eternal light with everything that's on its mind.
You'll never believe this.
And maybe we will do this for the rest of our lives,
Maybe we will live forever,
And maybe we don't have to think it's right,
And maybe we will.
I don't feel what you feel,
I don't want to feel this incomplete.
No one here can tell me
How to fill this space between.
Everyone knows you're my one regret,
Everyone knows you're my one weakness.
The butterfly, the butterfly is beautiful but soon will die.
Will spread its wings in the eternal sky.
Eternal light with everything that's on its mind.
You'll never believe this.
And I can see you now reaching out for me,
And I can feel you now setting yourself free.
Everyone knows you're my one regret,
Everyone knows you're my one weakness.
I don't feel what you feel,
I don't want to feel this incomplete.
No one here can tell me
How to fill this space between.
Everyone knows you're my one regret,
Everyone knows you're my one weakness.
And maybe we will do this for the rest of our lives,
Maybe we will live forever,
And maybe we don't have to think it's right,
And maybe we will.
The butterfly, the butterfly is beautiful but soon will die.
Will spread its wings in the eternal sky.
Eternal light with everything that's on its mind.
You'll never believe this.

Poison Kiss

Before I leave. I really like this song, "Poison Kiss" by The Last Goodnight. It's my best friend, Michelle, loves this band, apparently.
Your eyes don't lie, it gives you away.
You say, you say, everything is different today.
Your footsteps fall all over the place.
You're up, you're down. A butterfly caught in a cage.
I don't know why I needed you more. I don't know how you got through the door.
I don't know where you were.
But back and forth, back and forth.
This is the last goodbye I'm ever gonna say.
This is the last goodnight I'm ever gonna waste.
This kiss is poisonous. If you can't control the way it enters your soul.
One love, one life, one love is better then you tonight.
Sunday driver, you never get for.
You call, you call, everyone is juggling hearts.
You think that you never make mistake.
You say, you say, everyone else is to blame.
I don't know what. I don't know how you got through the door.
I don't know where you were.
But back and forth, back and forth.
This is the last goodbye I'm ever gonna say.
This is the last goodnight I'm ever gonna waste.
This kiss is poisonous. If you can't control the way it enters your soul.
The devil inside, I see your eyes changing, green to white.
There is nowhere to hide.
Inside I feel the same, I feel the same way, too.
Your eyes don't lie, they give you away
You say, you say everything is different today
This is the last goodbye I'm ever gonna say.
This is the last goodnight I'm ever gonna waste.
This kiss is poisonous. If you can't control the way it enters your soul.
This is the last goodbye I'm ever gonna say.
This is the last goodnight I'm ever gonna waste.
This kiss is poisonous. If you can't control the way it enters your soul.
One love, one life, one love is better then you tonight.
One love, one life, one love is better then you tonight.